7/24/25-I Never Learn

When all this started I offered the observation that no one knows their body better then themselves. And if something feels like its not right, it probably isn’t and waiting to go to see the doctor can do no good. Basically I thought it was best to be your best advocate for your health.

I know I waited too long to see my doctor about feeling bad and it eventually led to a more dire cancer diagnosis. I pledged to not make that mistake again. If I didn’t feel right, I was going to the doctor to get it checked out.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I wasn’t feeling great. My stomach was sore. My back was sore. I was having trouble sleeping. I was fatigued all the time. Time to go see the doctor and get it checked out, right?

Nope. I suffered for a week until I couldn’t take it anymore before I finally relented and went to the ER. I found out I have a blood clot that was putting pressure on my abdominal area. I waited so long that the clot was pretty severe and would have likely gotten worse very quickly had I not gone in when I did.

We are working to deal with the clot with medications but its hard to say how my cancer will react to the clotting. And the blood thinners definitely will complicate my upcoming treatments.

The logical question is “Why did I wait so long to get checked out?” I should have learned my lesson.

I knew I needed to go to the doctor. But I was scared. For the first time in this whole cancer fight I felt the cancer had the upper hand. And I knew in my heart that if I walked into that Emergency Room they would admit me to the hospital and I’d never get out. I thought it was the end. And I wasn’t ready for the end.

Well I was wrong, I did get out of the hospital. But I do believe that the time in the hospital did move me closer to that finish line. I just need to not be afraid of that finish line.